My Version of SpongeBob
by Tommy-The-Panda
Summary: I do not own any of the characters, this is just a few one shots I would like to post.


**Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey guys it's been awhile, hasn't it? Missed me? Nope? Alrightly then. Anyhow wanna know a messed up fact that a few- most of you- won't believe? In the original plot of SpongeBob and Patrick was a gay couple. But the creator was sold out by Nick and now it's a children show. Am I bullshitting? No. But it's fine if you think that. **

**So, why I am I bringing that up? Well…I am doing a story with my idea of what the show might've been like if they went that road. But no there's not going to be any sex, making out, swearing, etc. Why? This is a childhood show that everyone watched as a child. But I'm going to change a few things, one: the characters are going to be humanized, sorry, I just don't feel right with writing them as fish, not my cup of tea. Two: my motherly fangirl for Gary is going to come out, he's going to be a chubby three year old boy, awww, sorry it's too cute to not do! But he'll still meow, because that makes scene. :3 Three: Patrick and SpongeBob will live together and SpongeBob's in his early 20's and Patrick's in his very early 30's. Soooo, let's begin..I hope you enjoy, fame if you wish, review, tell your friends, and vomit from your 'childhood being ruin' even though there was a warning! **

**…**

The blonde man opened his eyes lazily, his sky blue eyes glowing in the dark room, the pale skinned male sat up. Yawning as he flopped his bare feet on the hard wood floor. He stood, rubbing his eyes and freckled cheeks, he hopped to the bathroom humming in a joyful tone. He pulled his pajama hat that was light Mantis green off, he got a brush and brushed his golden bangs. Making the knots and messy hair look fading, he got his white toothbrush with the line of dark blue going down the neck and back on the stick of the toothbrush. He put on the toothpaste, which was light green grinning while brushing his pearly white teeth.

He pulled the knob on the sink, blue water flooding out. He put his toothbrush under the water the toothpaste dripping off. The blue eyed man put his brush away then ribbed his pajamas off -their the same color of his hat- walking over to the shower and turning it on. Burning hot water spitting out, he turned it down and made it cool, just right. He put on his pink shower cap on then took his underwear off. He got in and cleaned himself and shampooed his hair, jumping out, slipping on a soap bar hitting the floor. After fifteen minutes of crying he stood and put on his everyday attire, a formal button up shirt with a scarlet tie, dark chocolate brown shorts with formal black shoes. He sang the shoe tying song; tying his shoes.

He ran downstairs seeing his three year old adopted son using a frying pan. "Are you cooking something, Gary?" He smiled looking over the tie die shirt covered shoulder of the three year old. Seeing a cup of French toast by the oven, he smirked and took it, drinking it happily. "Oooh Gary this is so good!" He giggled.

Gary nodded. "Meow."

SpongeBob looked up at the clock, the long black arm on eight and the small black arm on the ten. SpongeBob did a dramatic gasp and kissed Gary's cheek. "I'm late for WORK!" He screamed running out the door. Gary blinked, then rolled his eyes.

"Meooow." He groaned in an annoyed tone. He put his eggs on a yellow glass plate about to eat when suddenly Patrick stormed in, he inhaled loudly.

"Mornin' Gary." He smiled lazily putting his hand on his overweight stomach. His hair spiked and went to his mid neck, he wore no shirt but a lime green shorts with purple flowers. Patrick saw the plate and took it from the two feet tall boy, Patrick being six feet tall.

"Thanks, Gary." He leaned his head up then dropped the eggs in his mouth. Wiping his lips with a happy sigh. Gary scowled and walked off, his stomach growling. He walked upstairs to his parents and his bedroom, going under his toddler crib getting 'Toddler Food', the words written in bold dark chrisom in a paper brown bag. He reached his tiny chubby hand down in the bag pulling it up with small little yellow balls of food. He shoved it in his mouth and chewed. Dry, flavorless, and made him want to gag. But it was the best thing he had for breakfast. He ate until he couldn't anymore, dropping the bag by his bed, then kicked it under his bed with a sigh. He walked downstairs and got his cowboy hat, pulling Patrick to the living room.

"Geez Gary what are you doing?" He huffed.

"Meow….!" Gary frowned, he pushed the pink haired middle aged man on the chair in front of the television, flipping the channels until he got to the cowboy show he enjoyed. He ran over to his father and jumped into his lap. Patrick's dark brown eyes widened as he coughed a bit, Gary nuzzled into him, laughing about the show and his father's reaction. Patrick exhaled annoyed and in pain as he pulled some of the blue, pink, purple, and red hair from his son's face. His scarlet eyes more easily seen as they looked up into Patrick's, Gary's hair went to his thighs and he only wore a two sizes too big tie die shirt with yellow green boxers. Patrick put an arm around the boy watching the screen, joining into the laugher.

Gary cuddled with his father's arm, one of those mornings he enjoyed his other father greatly.

…

**What? Did I make Gary too childish? Patrick too fatherly? Sorry if I did, yes Patrick is crazy and on daily basics almost drowns Gary or sits Gary on fire but there has to be good times, why not write about it? Seeee? Not too gay for y'all right?**


End file.
